Quotes I Like, 6

All communication is really behavior designed to cause behavior in another person.

—Linguist James Harbeck

I like this quote because it requires you (if you want to provide congruent communication) to focus not just on your needs and perspective but also consider how your audience will process this information.  When you consider that most patient/provider communication occurs between two people at different emotional levels, it is easy to see how words and body language may not be received in the same manner as you meant them.

Some may read this and say that I am supporting some form of codependence where the speaker should take sole responsibility for the listener’s response.   While that may sit at an extreme end of the spectrum, I think too often we skew towards the other extreme.  Sometimes people use the phrase “I just speak the truth” as a justification for being an asshole.  While one cannot control how someone else will respond, the solution is not to completely abrogate any responsibility. 

Most of a patient’s life is spent outside the field of view of any healthcare professional.  If we want a patient to manage their diabetes all the time and not just in the days before an appointment, we need to consider our approach to communication to generate the behavior that will help them and us.  Even when this needs to be delivered with a splash of cold water, it also needs to be linked to an undercurrent of compassion.  As I have said before, there are other forms of love other than tough love.